"You Are Soooo Exhausting to Be Around!"

 -- Two different friends, who never even met each other, probably to this day, a year apart, to me! =(

That doesn't make me feel very good! =(

I can figure out the whole entire Universe, and on such extraordinary levels, but that enormous divide, being "far more highly evolved" (actual diagnosis) than conventional minds would ever even begin to expect from me, just gets bigger and bigger, and more and more painful.

For me to tell anyone who I really am, like it or not I have to inadvertently tell them who they really are! And it just never, ever works out!

There is just no escaping the very real reality that when people are around each other on a close friends basis, how and what they think and feel about life, religion, stuff going on in the news, hot topics, everyday goings-on, etc., are going to be confronted. It's just a natural situation in human interaction. Shared, and sharing, experiences are what make relationships, well...relationships!

When you are on completely different sides of the Universe on things, and moreso if your whole entire overall life philosophy is at odds, that makes for a really awkward, and yes!, "exhausting" relationship.

It's nobody's fault! It's just basic reality!

Try as I might to pique and intrigue their curiosity, it just reaches a point where they "fall back down the ladder" (Dalai Lama's analogy) into the comforting arms of conventional familiarity.

It's painful, being me. It doesn't feel very good getting pushed away all the time.

I remember once, in a graduate school psychology class, I couldn't wait until it was my turn to teach the class! I sat in the back, quiet all the time, but was so excited planning for the day when I got to be professor for 2 hours, teaching my assigned topic. But when the day came, and I joyfully showed up in class completely prepared, handouts and all, the professor completely blew me off altogether and stole my 2 hours away for himself, as if I didn't even exist! =( It was that darned "genius" in the house thing again...professors didn't think I needed it! Did I miss something? Yeah! That little essential thing about being included and being allowed to participate and interact with my classmates, as they were allowed with each other!

Why not me? =(  Omg, that hurt! That just really, reeeally hurt!

It's all about the experience!

Rudolph Syndrome, I've been known to call it! "They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!"

Non-Linear physics transcends all conventional notions of time and space (spaceXtime), accessing a much higher Universal Process that most folks never allow themselves to see, and I cannot not see. That lonely divide is as eternal as that higher reality.

I'm Still Here...Atreyu!

Artax…!!!!!!!!!

=(

Ganesh...Remover of Obstacles

Ganesh, revered elephant of India, "Remover of Obstacles,"** has long been a personal friend of mine...in a *Way!*

Seriously!  When I feel down, alone, abandoned, and my *energy* gets stuck, I allow my buddy Ganesh to help me get up and get myself moving! I actually have a lot of fun with it! Like, "today I will remove 47 obstacles" around my home/*home!* :) You know...pick stuff up, put things away, that sort of thing. Tao 47...Within X Without!

I have always loved to observe the math in situations. I counted everything as a small child! No, I am not "autistic," I am highly aware, attentive to the reality of Universal patterns/frequencyXintensity in everything going on, everything it does!  Super duper fascinated the heck outta me as a child! Soooo intriguing! That is how I can detect congealing events, spontaneously locate dead bodies, drive down a road and *see* what is going on around me in buildings/*buildings* I have never, ever been in, that I am simply breezing right on by. Everything is an analogy, a superimposition, to everything else.  It is all happening on layers upon layers upon layers upon layers of multidimensionality. Everything simply morphs into everything else, and yet it is all already said and done.  We sentient beings just haven't caught up with it yet, that's all! It's that discrepancy between Universal Truth and our catching up to it that creates the illusion of Time and Space.

It's stuff like this that bothers me the most, actually, and what I mean by that is this... The Universe ~ already knows ~ how many people are going to die in horrific events! Important Answers modern science is admittedly waiting linear "centuries" for can be *realized* in the NonLinear *Now,* and horrific events not only reveal themselves long before they happen but they reveal themselves in the most incredible detail! Names, dates, faces, places...  And on and on and on...  How on earth can that NOT be important enough for convention and its scientists and emergency services/homeland security folks to WAKE UP for?  I mean, the information is always right there, immediately available, and...they don't want it?

How DARE they NOT want it! They have no right to NOT want it!

(I heard that!)

** Lord Ganesh, in Hinduism, in India

*Way* Too Much Information

I love Taoism (the *Way* things work/Tao Te Ching). Basic truth without all the projected celebrations that only serve to confuse and distance people.  Once folks see cultural ceremony related to Consciousness concepts they tend to use that as reason, an excuse, to assume everything as nothing more than folks' personal "opinions" and nothing important to attend to any further. Trying to guide folks toward the Universal Truth is such a frustrating task.

Trying to accept the reality that ...failure IS an option... is what this new *Clear Path* Interactive Journal is all about.

I just needed a place to write, to ramble away, as that "human being in here." Last fall really hit me hard when I detected horrific physics of the Vegas massacre.  I've said many times that each such *realization* is like the first one ever experienced, because it hits me that hard. At the same time, the little kid in me absolutely adores the physics involved and craves knowing more and More and MORE! :)  As I said, I'm a glutton for punishment. I passionately LOVE observing the Universal Physics in action, the plasticity of Time and Space, the *fabric/tapestry* of the Universe doing what it's doing AS it is doing it!

How can people not see it, I constantly wonder! But I am reminded of the night I personally directly witnessed the International Space Station fly over my home on a pitch dark night in the Pacific, so close I could almost reach out and touch it, it seemed! I could see every detail, so "up close and personal," and it was such a magnificent experience.  They told us when it would be flying over, and I had my whale watching binoculars with me, but I never expected to see it that enormously, in that much detail!  I was all alone, and I wanted to run for the neighbors further up the mountain (ocean fronted), but I knew it would be gone by the time I did.  So there I was, all alone, with the most extraordinary sight to see. And that's pretty much exactly how it feels to recognize in the actual Universal, NonLinear, Translucent, Timeless, Spaceless Physics, what is congealing toward manifestation.

What am I supposed to do with that much information?!  I am soooo off the charts with my *accesses* that it is just way too much information for essentially anyone else around me to process!

Western Psychology can really get lost in itself. It wants you to go around and around and around in your own analogies.  But when the information you recognize as congealing means thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people (Indonesian tsunami), are going to lose their lives in catastrophic events, it is time to get off that merry-go-round and respect their real world message!  The Universal Physics are NOT "psychobabble!"

When it comes to my ability to communicate my *far more highly evolved accesses* to the every-day world of convention and its authorities, I feel like I am on a little glacier out in the ocean, drifting further and further away, where nobody can hear me or see me, there is such a divide. I can talk until hell freezes over and no one can hear me!  I hear my own self...that's how I realize what is congealing toward manifestation. It doesn't matter how many people I tell or warn, the stuff still happens! The only other thing to do is look away, pretend I am as clueless as convention. But I can't do that! I have never been able to do that. Years ago I did actually try a few times, but it only makes it worse! The information actually comes after me, demanding my attention.

I passionately LOVE observing it all, tracking the math, the patterning, the multidimensional language, the reality and unreality of Time and Space, the Translucent Energy/Empathy!  It is absolutely extraordinary!  And it's all right there!  I feel like a little kid with the most magnificent toy of all, but it's no fun playing with it...all alone!

I am really "raw" right now! I just do NOT want to *know* about anymore catastrophes.

But this is all observable, measurable, teachable physics, zero anything whatsoever to do with anything "psychic" (which I hate people confusing this to!), so the constant reminders from my university and grad school professors that I "have a responsibility to elicit *change* in this world!" really haunt me, and I wholeheartedly agree.  But when the classroom is empty and I am talking to myself... :/