-- Two different friends, who never even met each other, probably to this day, a year apart, to me! =(
That doesn't make me feel very good! =(
I can figure out the whole entire Universe, and on such extraordinary levels, but that enormous divide, being "far more highly evolved" (actual diagnosis) than conventional minds would ever even begin to expect from me, just gets bigger and bigger, and more and more painful.
For me to tell anyone who I really am, like it or not I have to inadvertently tell them who they really are! And it just never, ever works out!
There is just no escaping the very real reality that when people are around each other on a close friends basis, how and what they think and feel about life, religion, stuff going on in the news, hot topics, everyday goings-on, etc., are going to be confronted. It's just a natural situation in human interaction. Shared, and sharing, experiences are what make relationships, well...relationships!
When you are on completely different sides of the Universe on things, and moreso if your whole entire overall life philosophy is at odds, that makes for a really awkward, and yes!, "exhausting" relationship.
It's nobody's fault! It's just basic reality!
Try as I might to pique and intrigue their curiosity, it just reaches a point where they "fall back down the ladder" (Dalai Lama's analogy) into the comforting arms of conventional familiarity.
It's painful, being me. It doesn't feel very good getting pushed away all the time.
I remember once, in a graduate school psychology class, I couldn't wait until it was my turn to teach the class! I sat in the back, quiet all the time, but was so excited planning for the day when I got to be professor for 2 hours, teaching my assigned topic. But when the day came, and I joyfully showed up in class completely prepared, handouts and all, the professor completely blew me off altogether and stole my 2 hours away for himself, as if I didn't even exist! =( It was that darned "genius" in the house thing again...professors didn't think I needed it! Did I miss something? Yeah! That little essential thing about being included and being allowed to participate and interact with my classmates, as they were allowed with each other!
Why not me? =( Omg, that hurt! That just really, reeeally hurt!
It's all about the experience!
Rudolph Syndrome, I've been known to call it! "They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!"
Non-Linear physics transcends all conventional notions of time and space (spaceXtime), accessing a much higher Universal Process that most folks never allow themselves to see, and I cannot not see. That lonely divide is as eternal as that higher reality.
